From: Frank Barnhardt
To: [email protected]
Subject: Welcome Bruce
Date: Tues, 15 Mar 2016 9:50 -0800
Hi Team,
I wanted to take a moment to check in with the troops and let everyone know about some new and important changes coming to our organization. 2015 was a great year for Casket-Express.com, and we couldn’t have become the number-one place for the bereaved to seek encasement of their lost treasures without your tireless work. You know, lots of people said digital was a wholly inappropriate platform for providing people with funerary boxes, but we showed them wrong. Over the last year we have added express shipping, virtual “tours,” and most recently (to great success), sales chat. We are the bleeding edge of the online casket shopping experience.
With such massive success and market share on our minds, the board gathered for our yearly retreat to discuss the future. What’s next? We decided that for Casket-Express.com, being number one in coffins is not enough. We need to be number one in the total mourning experience. We should move our service beyond just selling palls and pine boxes. We should provide something that lasts longer: support. That’s why I’m proud to announce the internal launch of our new social media experience:
“GREAV”
Our legacy at Casket-Express.com will be using online tools to empower people in need of more than just a coffin to share the mourning experience together. Together, we can manage. Which leads me to a new addition.
I’m proud to introduce Bruce Cunningham to our executive team. Bruce joins us from many years at Google+ and will be our new Social Media Director. Some of you may have seen him in the halls this week, as he’s hard to miss with his thick mustache, neon scarves, and bubbly personality. His many years of work in social will bring a huge amount of success to our newest initiative and I encourage each of you to spend some time with Bruce this week.
Thanks,
Frank Barnhardt
CEO, Casket-Express.com
———
From: Bruce Cunningham
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Welcome Bruce
Date: Tues, 15 Mar 2016 9:51 -0800
Hellooo everybody!
Some of you have met me already but I’m BRUCE, your new SoCiAl MeDiA dIrEcToR (I like to keep it light, obvs). I wanted to take a sec to introduce m’self and say hey. Check it: we’ve already got Casket-Express.com/#/GREAV up and totes running. If y’all could take a sec to fill out your Bereavement Buddy profiles, that would be great. Want to have all those complete by Fri-Fri so the GREAV NE+WORK can make appropriate Mourner Matches. We need all those data points early so we can move onto our next goal of grief quantification. We want the really hardcore mourners to be paired with each other, otherwise the mildly grieving could be further depressed by the weepies. Can’t have that!
OK, sweet! That about wraps it up. Remember, filling out your profile includes adding a picture. The picture DOES actually need to be of you, you need to look saddish, and you should be dressed in funeral wear. Y’all know what I mean. This ain’t your first casket sale, LOL.
Anyhoo, I’ll circle back with each of y’all in person so see ya soon!
-Bruce!
———
From: Bruce Cunningham
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: Welcome Bruce
Date: Thurs, 17 Dec 2016 18:42 -0800
Hey hey,
Just checking in. I feel like, there’s, like, a really low in-company adoption rate for GREAV. That’s sad! (Har, har.) But look: we need the metrics! GREAV is TOTES about helping people so that in the future they’ll help us with referrals and future casket sales!!! Being active on GREAV sells caskets y’all!! We can do this together but that means completing those profiles! So hop on today, upload a real picture of you in funeral clothes, share a story about death or whatever and help someone else cope with their darkest moment maybe like totally ever! We can turn sads into happies and sell caskets!
-B!
———
From: Bruce Cunningham
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Welcome Bruce
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2016 14:11 -0800
Hey Y’all,
We’re finally above 75% in-house adoption of GREAV and that’s super good. I’m proud of all you helpful little sweethearts. Now that a profile is created automatically for every customer who buys a casket from Casket-Express.com, we’ve seen some great activity from the general public on GREAV. I’ve seen some real loving moments and it’s been super neato. Some feedback we’ve received includes “was…helpful” and “…a service that exists…” so early signs point to huge success. I’m excited to be part of the #MourningOutLoud movement and I’m so juiced to see how hyped y’all are on this project. Stop by my office to chat or whatnot and pickup your #MourningOutLoud wristband to wear to the gym. I’ll see some of y’all there 😉
We’ll talk more about GREAV at our quarterly meeting and BBQ! Country & Western wear strongly encouraged!
~~You guys are the best~~
-B!
———
From: Frank Barnhardt
To: [email protected]
Subject: #FarewellBruce
Date: Tues, 22 Mar 2016 8:16 -0800
Hi Team,
I wanted to take a moment to address the sudden death of Bruce Cunningham. In times of great loss, a multitude of emotions can fall on any person. Remember that feeling sad, tearful, blue, nothing, or even happy relief are all appropriate responses to losing someone as complex as Bruce. There is a counselor on hand for anyone who would like to talk. Though we many never know exactly why his car spontaneously exploded we can take comfort in the fact that the authorities are tirelessly investigating what happened. So far it seems all other cars in our parking lot are fine.
This is a loss for Casket-Express.com Inc. as well. Without Bruce’s leadership, we recently dropped to fifth place in online casket shopping, and so we’ve decided that our social media experiment “GREAV” cannot continue. We’ll be having touch-base conversations with many of you in Bruce’s org in the coming weeks, and in the meantime we will move forward with our quest to regain the top spot by Q2 2017!
Thanks,
Frank Barnhardt
CEO, Casket-Express.com
